AVOID!

This place. They leased us our copy machine and are the biggest group of douchebags I have ever had the displeasure of doing business with.

Ask me to sing this for you sometime

Thinking about girls' camp makes me laugh, because some of the songs they taught us are pretty much ridiculous. Here are the lyrics to one of the songs:

I don't wanna get married, I'm havin' too much fun.
I don't wanna settle down with any certain one
I go with all the fellas, I treat 'em all the same
To marry one and leave the rest would be a dirty shame!

Don't wanna get hitched! Uh-uh
Don't wanna get hitched! Uh-uh
To marry one and leave the rest would be a dirty shame!

Ooooooh, I wanna get married; I wanna be a wife (wife, wife)
I'm sick and tired of this single life (life, life)
Tall, dark, and handsome
Short, skinny, or fat (fat, fat)
I wanna get married, and that's all there is to that (that, that)

As long as he is...
Loaded with money, money
Loaded with money
Loaded with money, money
Loaded with money
I don't care if he's short, fat, or tall
I don't care if he's not a man at all
I don't care if he's old and corroded
All I want is a man who is
Loaded with money, money
Loaded with money
Loaded with money, money
LOADED!

Le sigh

I'm sorry I have turned into one of those "once in a blue moon" bloggers, but my life is truly not that exciting. However, the cruise to Alaska was, so here are some of the highlights.

• We had the forwardmost cabin on deck 11 of our ship, the Sea Princess.  This meant that is was slightly more spacious, and by that I mean you could still practically touch all four walls when standing in the center of the room. I gave myself a nasty bruise on the back of my elbow while shampooing my hair because the shower was itty bitty and oddly shaped, to boot.
•  Cruising past Port Angeles, Washington and understanding why Stephenie Meyer chose the forest around that area as the setting for the Twilight series.
• The absolutely phenomenal weather that greeted us when we arrived in Victoria, BC. Also, a big thanks to the super nice Canadians who stamped our passports (because we're geeky like that).
• Who knew there was such a thing as 'Timbersports?' Yes, they may have pretended to be dumb as rocks, but they are ripped at the Great Alaskan Lumberjack Show.  Sadly, our team lost. And of course, being Ketchikan, it was raining.
• Juneau was just balls out amazing. We did half the tour of the state capitol, where they let me sit in the Lieutenant Governor's chair. Then we did a helicopter tour of the area, followed by them setting us down on Mendenhall Glacier for a walkabout. We drank pure, UV filtered glacier water, and it was delicious. After that (and lunch on the ship) we did a whale-watching tour via a speedboat. We saw two humpback full-body breaches as well as the whole pod bubble-net feeding. Incredible.
• Skagway is tiny, and I wasn't feeling too great, so I just walked up to the chapel and back (stopping to shop of course). 
• Staying up almost 24 hours, then sleeping for two, getting up to see the Tracy Arm Fjord, and going back to sleep until 3pm.

After that we had two days at sea filled with trivia, BINGO, reading, and utter nonsense. It was a good time. See the pictures on Facebook.

Heartburn

This is both a good and bad post. At the same time I was diagnosed with Celiac a few years ago, I was also diagnosed with GERD. Usually, I take my Prilosec in the morning, and I am good to go - I don't notice anything, and I continue eating as I normally would. Last week, however, it felt like I had swallowed gasoline followed by a lit match, and the flames had gotten lodged in my esophagus. I started chewing Pepto tablets, taking Tums, etc. but it was only providing me with temporary relief. Therefore, starting on Monday, I decided to not drink soda for awhile. Caffeine in my beloved Diet Coke can weaken the muscle closing the stomach off from the esophagus and exacerbate the reflux. Well, I am pleased to report that I feel much better. Still not 100% (part of which might be stress related to trying to finish 3 weeks of work before I go on vacation), but SO much better. This does make me a little sad though...I love the zingy taste of Diet Coke, and I miss it already.

Gah!

I swear if one more person tells me any variation of "trust the Lord" OR "look on the bright side," I will punch them in the face.

You don't know this, but I cannot remember the last day when I woke up and thought, "Wow, I feel fantastic today." Pretty much every day is a differing variation of "How much pain can I deal with?" Every day I do my best to drag myself out of bed, put on a brave face, and go about life. So please don't tell me you know what it's like, or spout trite inspirational thoughts in the hopes that it will magically make my life better.

Being a good friend means you probably have put up with my venting, but you make my life brighter by taking my mind off how crappy I generally feel, but never by telling me that God has a plan for me, and that I just need to be patient. Seriously. That crap is ANNOYING.

I'm going to hell for this one

So, last night as I was leaving school, I was driving down one of the side streets (where the white truck is about to turn in the upper right corner), and some crazy person in a Camry cuts me off from where the white truck is actually. We then get to the stop sign by the tree in the middle of the picture there. Te person in front of me turns left, just as I am planning to do, but she turns on the left side (your right) of the little concrete median seen below. I suppose it was a good thing that no one wanted to come TO school at 9:30, because genius could have gotten in a head-on collision. As I turned into the correct lane, I glanced over at the driver with a "you're an idiot" look, and the Asian woman just waved at me, turned, and drove away.

I have nothing to say

It has been two full months since I blogged. Part of the problem was that March was insanely busy for me at work. This is the first year that I have done some of the audits by myself, and it was definitely a learning experience. Of the 17 HUD clients our firms audits, I did 10 of them. I am learning to provide better documentation to my boss, and I think that my work papers are getting better over time. In addition to that, I am still taking my Monday night class at DVC in Pleasant Hill; sitting in class after a long day at work is exceedingly difficult, especially when some of the people in my class are complete morons. Last Monday ai paid no attention to the lecture, but instead spent an hour and a half doing genealogy research on my iPad. A few Mondays ago, some kid who was running for ASB president came in to campaign, and my professor (who is from Russia, and has a thick accent) pretty much ripped him a new one because the people who take night classes don't have an hour to spare to come vote for him, despite the promise of free hot dogs. Yesterday was another Super Sewing Saturday, this time at Shaine's house. I made her baby a couple burp cloths and I finished some hand sewing work for my grandma Joanne. I really enjoy getting together with Shaine, and it was a beautiful, peaceful day. Last night, Whitney Bullock was in town from Utah for the first time in a year, and a few of us went out for dinner. Whitney is so effortlessly funny; I'd forgotten how much I missed her presence. After that it was Rock Band and Just Dance at our place, followed by strawberry-raspberry-blackberry cobbler. We made Aaron Locey dance, and it was probably one of the funniest things I have seen.