Isn't it ironic?

I am friends with many people from the mission on Facebook. Most of them have stayed in the Church and are doing well, and this makes me feel happy for them. There are a couple, though, that seem to have taken a different path over the past ten years. I don't begrudge them anything, or think they are horrible people, but I do find it interesting to see. So here are summaries:

1. A girl who my companion and I taught (she was 12 at the time) at the request of her recently reactivated mom got baptized. After I came home from the mission, the mom ended up getting sealed in the temple with her new husband. Cut to now - neither of them are active, and I'm about 99% sure that the now 22-year old girl has a girlfriend. Guess that means she's getting more action than me. LOL.

2. One of my companions, who, on our last day of the mission was told by our mission president that he "wasn't worried about her" no longer goes to church, and lives as if she never did. The only reason I bring this up is because my mission president worried about me all the time, and in fact, almost sent me home for health reasons. Yet, here I am, ten years later, still active in the church (albeit sometimes I feel like I'm only hanging on by my fingernails), and the one who he wasn't worried about isn't.

My parents

I am really thankful for my parents. More than that, I am glad to see my mom so happy for the past ten years. Having a righteous priesthood holder for a bonus dad is awesome, and it's even better because he is both nerdy and funny at the same time. Both my mom and Guy like to give me advice, which I don't always welcome, but I'm sure glad they are around to dispense it. So thanks, parents, for  opening your home to me and letting me go a little mad sometimes.

Flu shot

I  should have written about this last week when it happened, but oh well.

On Sunday the 4th, over dinner, we ended up talking about medical stuff, and it came up that I hadn't gotten my flu shot yet. November is very late in the season, especially since the vaccine take about a month to be effective. Anyway, my mom got so mad at me that she was rolling her eyes saying, "I can't believe you haven't gotten a flu shot, Ms. Asthma." She was legitimately angry with me, and told me I should go get one ASAP.

Cut to election day - I am out at a client, and they just happen to have a guy coming out that day to administer flu shots that day. I went into the kitchen and the guy says to me, "You want a flu shot?" My reply was, "Yes, but I don't work here." I then told the secretary that my mom yelled at me for not getting it, and she went all mom on me as well. She was like, "WHAT?" Then, the admin services director basically forced me down into the chair to get the stupid shot. She says to me, "You'll thank me when you don't get sick."

So, I fill out the paperwork, which takes longer than the shot itself, and then the guy administers the shot, which, surprisingly didn't hurt. It did hurt afterwards, however, for like 2 days. I told the client that I didn't like them anymore because they hurt me, even though they were only trying to help. This is all my mom's fault. :)

Girls night

Today was Lisa's birthday, and it was low key but we had fun nonetheless. Us three who used to live together met up for dinner at Eddie Papas. I need to apologize to Despain because my gluten free food took almost half an hour to make, and she was sitting there getting hungrier every minute. After we had dinner, the restaurant gave Lisa free beignets with a candle, as well the customary cotton candy, which we ate a couple bites of then dunked in Despain's glass of water. Tasty!

After that, it was time to hit the mall to look at some cute (and completely hideous) shoes. I ended up getting a pair of black mary-janes, while Lisa resisted many pairs of stilettos and Despain shot down every pair of shoes we handed her. Excuses ranged from 'too shiny' to 'I don't like that little silver thing.' Oh well, you can lead a horse to water...

We hit the rest of the mall rather quickly, but did make sure to stop at Sees for a free sample. Our last stop, much to the annoyance of the sales people, I'm sure was at NY&C. We tried in super adorable matching drivers jackets, but opted out, since they cost more than $100 on sale. Pretty much, I just danced through the store while Lisa actually got some cute pants. Then we had to wander around the parking lot since we parked on two different sides of the store. The end.

P.S. you're welcome Jessica Schuler. ;) glad you got in and out unscathed!

Epic. Effing. Meltdown.

All day today had the four of us in the office working on one client report, which, to put it mildly is a mess. My boss has been working on it all week, I missed a couple days of work with a cold, and he really wanted to send the draft back to the client this afternoon so the client could do some damage repair over the weekend. We met this morning as a team to divvy up the work. I got the letters and footnote wording, my coworker Bryce got the job of footing the report, my boss was continuing to work in the management discussion, and Paul got the task of nailing down on particular footnote pertaining to what sort of investments the client had.

Cut to 5:00. We need to meet to figure out what all has been done. We sit down to talk, and I have done my portion, Bryce has done his, my boss is super stressed, but has managed to complete what he was working on. Meanwhile, Paul hasn't finished what he was assigned. My boss tries to explain that he wanted the footnote done today so we could push it back on the client. I believe the words he used were, "I want results." Anyway, my boss wasn't yelling, but he was clearly irritated, and Paul just exploded. I mean, like Mt. Saint Helens. He calls my boss an a-hole, tells him f*** you a few times, asks my boss why he's the one being kicked in the behind. Then he proceeds to spend two full minutes screaming and ranting in his office throwing stuff and repeatedly ignoring my boss' orders telling him to leave. If we were a big company. His butt would be fired, but we're sorta stretched for time right now, so we will see what Monday morning holds. Awkward!

*gag*

So, the rain in the middle of the night was quite refreshing and almost acts as white noise. The other noise that greeted me this morning was a sort of clicking. After like half an hour I looked out my window to see what the noise was. There was something in one of my mom's rat traps that was still squirming. Luckily for me I was far enough to tell what it was while not getting the entire gore up close. I told my mom she needed to go out and check it out, and she comes back in saying, "I need some advice. There is a rat, and it's caught in TWO of the traps. It's gonna die, but how long should we let it suffer?" The last time my mom set a sticky trap (at the Walnut Creek house) she made me bash it with a shovel until it died. I mean, if these traps aren't gonna make it quick, why do me and Guy have to be the ones to put rodents out of their misery? Ew!!!!

Random

I hate jello. Green, red, orange, whatever...it's gross.  The texture is just slimy and disturbing. The only thing that can make jello even remotely palatable is some sort of nuts mixed in, and even then, it's just wrong.

Yelling really bothers me. Conflict in general is unpleasant, but sometimes you need to get it out there so you can get over it. Yelling is something else- it makes my blood pressure go through the roof. I'd rather someone just stated what was bothering them so we can work it out than get into a yelling match. Ugh.

I like shoes and jewelry. It took me a long time to become what I consider a girly girl, but now I love high heels, shiny and sparkly necklaces and earrings, and makeup. I think Hermana Gardner from the mission would be proud of me.

I wish I was a better friend, and made more time for the people I care about. Life has gotten busy, and I feel as though many of you don't get enough of my time and caring, and that makes me sad.

I am so glad I live in this time when so many delicious gluten free options are available to me. I don't feel like I am missing out on anything because of the great increase in availability of safe foods, and it's awesome.

This one is personal

And written more as an emotional outlet for myself that for anyone who reads it.

Tonight was extremely depressing and frustrating for me. I was really looking forward to going out (alone) with this guy and just talking to him and getting to know him better. If I'd known how the evening would turn out, I would have stayed at Gabe's. At least then I wouldn't have been stuck in a room with him and a whole group of people watching the game with that chick inserting herself between us. Then, to make it worse, he barely says ten words to me all night, and by the end of it, her head is near, if not on his shoulder. He said he wasn't trying to get out of going to the movies with me, but I'd rather have the bandaid ripped off than have to sit through another evening like tonight, which, by the way, ended with me sneaking out (yes, sneaking out) at 11:50.

Tonight has only reaffirmed that I am an undateable troglodyte.

frustrated

ever have that moment when you're gonna hang out with a guy you like but then you end up in a group with another girl sitting between you? It's very frustrating, especially when doing something would be super obvious and awkward.

Eek!

As many of you already know, I am convinced that Snuggle Bear (the fabric softener mascot) is evil. Nothing good ever came of talking dolls. Think about it: Teddy Ruxpin, Furby, CHUCKY. If you see me sometime soon, ask me to do my impersonation of this guy...

AVOID!

This place. They leased us our copy machine and are the biggest group of douchebags I have ever had the displeasure of doing business with.

Ask me to sing this for you sometime

Thinking about girls' camp makes me laugh, because some of the songs they taught us are pretty much ridiculous. Here are the lyrics to one of the songs:

I don't wanna get married, I'm havin' too much fun.
I don't wanna settle down with any certain one
I go with all the fellas, I treat 'em all the same
To marry one and leave the rest would be a dirty shame!

Don't wanna get hitched! Uh-uh
Don't wanna get hitched! Uh-uh
To marry one and leave the rest would be a dirty shame!

Ooooooh, I wanna get married; I wanna be a wife (wife, wife)
I'm sick and tired of this single life (life, life)
Tall, dark, and handsome
Short, skinny, or fat (fat, fat)
I wanna get married, and that's all there is to that (that, that)

As long as he is...
Loaded with money, money
Loaded with money
Loaded with money, money
Loaded with money
I don't care if he's short, fat, or tall
I don't care if he's not a man at all
I don't care if he's old and corroded
All I want is a man who is
Loaded with money, money
Loaded with money
Loaded with money, money
LOADED!

Le sigh

I'm sorry I have turned into one of those "once in a blue moon" bloggers, but my life is truly not that exciting. However, the cruise to Alaska was, so here are some of the highlights.

• We had the forwardmost cabin on deck 11 of our ship, the Sea Princess.  This meant that is was slightly more spacious, and by that I mean you could still practically touch all four walls when standing in the center of the room. I gave myself a nasty bruise on the back of my elbow while shampooing my hair because the shower was itty bitty and oddly shaped, to boot.
•  Cruising past Port Angeles, Washington and understanding why Stephenie Meyer chose the forest around that area as the setting for the Twilight series.
• The absolutely phenomenal weather that greeted us when we arrived in Victoria, BC. Also, a big thanks to the super nice Canadians who stamped our passports (because we're geeky like that).
• Who knew there was such a thing as 'Timbersports?' Yes, they may have pretended to be dumb as rocks, but they are ripped at the Great Alaskan Lumberjack Show.  Sadly, our team lost. And of course, being Ketchikan, it was raining.
• Juneau was just balls out amazing. We did half the tour of the state capitol, where they let me sit in the Lieutenant Governor's chair. Then we did a helicopter tour of the area, followed by them setting us down on Mendenhall Glacier for a walkabout. We drank pure, UV filtered glacier water, and it was delicious. After that (and lunch on the ship) we did a whale-watching tour via a speedboat. We saw two humpback full-body breaches as well as the whole pod bubble-net feeding. Incredible.
• Skagway is tiny, and I wasn't feeling too great, so I just walked up to the chapel and back (stopping to shop of course). 
• Staying up almost 24 hours, then sleeping for two, getting up to see the Tracy Arm Fjord, and going back to sleep until 3pm.

After that we had two days at sea filled with trivia, BINGO, reading, and utter nonsense. It was a good time. See the pictures on Facebook.

Heartburn

This is both a good and bad post. At the same time I was diagnosed with Celiac a few years ago, I was also diagnosed with GERD. Usually, I take my Prilosec in the morning, and I am good to go - I don't notice anything, and I continue eating as I normally would. Last week, however, it felt like I had swallowed gasoline followed by a lit match, and the flames had gotten lodged in my esophagus. I started chewing Pepto tablets, taking Tums, etc. but it was only providing me with temporary relief. Therefore, starting on Monday, I decided to not drink soda for awhile. Caffeine in my beloved Diet Coke can weaken the muscle closing the stomach off from the esophagus and exacerbate the reflux. Well, I am pleased to report that I feel much better. Still not 100% (part of which might be stress related to trying to finish 3 weeks of work before I go on vacation), but SO much better. This does make me a little sad though...I love the zingy taste of Diet Coke, and I miss it already.

Gah!

I swear if one more person tells me any variation of "trust the Lord" OR "look on the bright side," I will punch them in the face.

You don't know this, but I cannot remember the last day when I woke up and thought, "Wow, I feel fantastic today." Pretty much every day is a differing variation of "How much pain can I deal with?" Every day I do my best to drag myself out of bed, put on a brave face, and go about life. So please don't tell me you know what it's like, or spout trite inspirational thoughts in the hopes that it will magically make my life better.

Being a good friend means you probably have put up with my venting, but you make my life brighter by taking my mind off how crappy I generally feel, but never by telling me that God has a plan for me, and that I just need to be patient. Seriously. That crap is ANNOYING.

I'm going to hell for this one

So, last night as I was leaving school, I was driving down one of the side streets (where the white truck is about to turn in the upper right corner), and some crazy person in a Camry cuts me off from where the white truck is actually. We then get to the stop sign by the tree in the middle of the picture there. Te person in front of me turns left, just as I am planning to do, but she turns on the left side (your right) of the little concrete median seen below. I suppose it was a good thing that no one wanted to come TO school at 9:30, because genius could have gotten in a head-on collision. As I turned into the correct lane, I glanced over at the driver with a "you're an idiot" look, and the Asian woman just waved at me, turned, and drove away.

I have nothing to say

It has been two full months since I blogged. Part of the problem was that March was insanely busy for me at work. This is the first year that I have done some of the audits by myself, and it was definitely a learning experience. Of the 17 HUD clients our firms audits, I did 10 of them. I am learning to provide better documentation to my boss, and I think that my work papers are getting better over time. In addition to that, I am still taking my Monday night class at DVC in Pleasant Hill; sitting in class after a long day at work is exceedingly difficult, especially when some of the people in my class are complete morons. Last Monday ai paid no attention to the lecture, but instead spent an hour and a half doing genealogy research on my iPad. A few Mondays ago, some kid who was running for ASB president came in to campaign, and my professor (who is from Russia, and has a thick accent) pretty much ripped him a new one because the people who take night classes don't have an hour to spare to come vote for him, despite the promise of free hot dogs. Yesterday was another Super Sewing Saturday, this time at Shaine's house. I made her baby a couple burp cloths and I finished some hand sewing work for my grandma Joanne. I really enjoy getting together with Shaine, and it was a beautiful, peaceful day. Last night, Whitney Bullock was in town from Utah for the first time in a year, and a few of us went out for dinner. Whitney is so effortlessly funny; I'd forgotten how much I missed her presence. After that it was Rock Band and Just Dance at our place, followed by strawberry-raspberry-blackberry cobbler. We made Aaron Locey dance, and it was probably one of the funniest things I have seen.

Wow

My apologies to all of you; life has been insanely busy in the past 6 weeks, and I have not blogged at all.

School started, which requires me to physically be in class at DVC in Pleasant Hill on Monday nights from 6pm - 9:50. Clearly, after working all day, that is just what I want to do. I just keep telling myself that there is a method to this madness.

Tuesdays, I have been trying to go to institute, since I miss FHE on Mondays. Sister Jacobs is a good teacher, and she really likes to tell stories! That goes from 7 - 8:30, and then I am pretty much ready to be in my pajamas.

Wednesday nights have traditionally been the night that Shaine graces me with her presence, although I haven't seen her in a couple weeks. This makes me sad, since I enjoy our forays into the snarky oddities of life.

Every other Thursday is ward temple night, but as Lisa can tell you, I don't usually make it. Part of it has to do with it being the 7pm session (I'd rather hit the 6pm), and part of it has to do with homework, and a general desire to be lazy by Thursday night.

Then we are back at the weekend, where I get to do homework (if I have not finished it during the week), or fun stuff. This past weekend involved being silly with Ethan on Friday night...

and participating in the TriValley Conquest on Saturday. Watching people eat a whole pizza was giving me a stomachache, and don't even ask me how Andy managed to help us push a car, and was the fastest runner in our group after consuming it. Ew.

Sunday was fun, and I got to spend the latter part of it chilling at my parents' house watching the Oscars. Oh, and trying to avoid my mother pulling out any more of my hair. She always wants to play with it, but she is so not gentle. OUCH, MOM, OUCH!

Birthday fun

On Saturday January 7, I had a birthday party in the community room of our building. The theme of this party was 'epically immature,' and it was a blast. 

We started out with huge amounts of food (we are Mormon after all): chips, salsa, cookies, cake pops, starburst, skittles, m&ms, cheese, crackers, soda, juice boxes, fruit by the foot. It was a pleasant surprise, therefore, when Emily showed up with a fun and beautiful 'Chutes and Ladders' cake made from scratch. She said it was her first time experimenting with fondant, but you could have fooled me; it was so delicious!

Of course, we provided fun kid activities for the evening, including punch balls, coloring books and Candyland. Playing Candyland with Jed was hysterical, because he kept asking, "No, seriously, is this all you do?" Since the game is meant for small children, yes, Jed, moving one or two colors forward is all you do.

Perhaps the funniest part of the evening was when we played musical chairs. There was some serious competitiveness going on, and some loud laughter. Jed tried to sit on Shaine, so she had to tell him that not only is she married, but she's pregnant. I'm sorry we didn't get around to playing Heads Up, 7 Up, but maybe next time.

The evening was pretty much amazing for those who came, and I want to thnk you for being there to enjoy it with me, and for the gifts you gave (even if they did come from the trash...Michelle)

Movie Review(s)

Over the past few months, I have seen a few movies, but have not had the chance to share my snarky reviews with you, so here goes:

1.

Kristen Stewart needs to be put out of her misery so that the rest of us can be put out of ours. She is a terrible actress, and does not make Bella as klutzy, selfless, and sympathetic as she's written. Granted, Stephenie Meyer is not Jane Austen, but the Twilight Series is a fun love story, and KStew sucks all the fun out of it. Bill Condon did the best he could with the raw materials he was given. To his credit, I thought this was the best of the movies thus far, and it was rather amusing watching the lingerie montage. The CGI department did a great job creeping me out as Renesmee sucked the life out of Bella, and they deserve props, and perhaps a PSA on eating disorders.

2.

Where to begin? This movie was about 40 minutes too long, was chock full of bad acting, and I was quite happy to have not paid for my ticket. The strangest part was Sherlock's inner monologue, which we got to experience as such, and then as he acted it out. But perhaps what takes the cake is when Sherlock and Moriarty have an inner monologue conversation. I wasn't sure if they were actually speaking to each other, but Guy Ritchie decided not to have their lips move, or what, but this whole conversation seemingly took place inside their minds. Telepathy???

3.

As Terri says,"It's Mission: Impossible, we HAVE to go see it." Of these three movies, this was the best, not that that's saying much. At times, I found the plot to be super convoluted and dragging, but just when I thought I couldn't take any more of Jeremy Renner's emo, Brad Bird lets the bullets and the actors fly. But for the love of all that is holy, isn't Tom Cruise (in the words of Gibson & Glover from Lethal Weapon 4) "getting too old for this crap"?