Thank you Darren Hayes for saying it so well

EGO

Written by Darren Hayes / Robert Conley

I have been contemplating letting go
Of you ego
Thought I'd let you know
You're getting old

It was so irritating saving face
When I fell from grace
Thought you would erase
Without a trace
But you stayed
But you remained
But you
It's always about you

I have been quietly edging away
To keep the flames at bay
Make this puppy stay
To limit my use of
Personal pronouns are the death of me
See I just said "me"
You're an endless sea of vanity
It's all for you babe
For you babe
For you
It's always about you

I have been silently taking offense
And at great expense
As my feelings dent
I'm licking my scratches
It serves no purpose doesn't gratify
And you're dissatisfied
And though your belly's full
There's always more room for you babe
For you babe
For you
It's always about you

Finding a Job, part one

Okay folks, it's time once again for one of those blogs about why being an adult is less than satisfactory. This time I would like to talk about finding gainful employement. I touched on this in my blog on life after graduation, but this time I will focus solely on the actual process of looking for suitable work. This process has become exponentially more difficult given the current double-digit unemployment figures.

When you go to look for a job, a variety of resources are available to you: newspaper classifieds, internet sites such as Monster.com, maybe even a headhunter.

If you choose to use a web site to look for a job, you will build your resume, post it to the website, and will begin to get emails from companies who are interested in you. Unfortunately for you, all of those companies will be companies that want to offer you a fabulous job as a telemarketer or a pest control salesperson. Who cares if you have a PhD in electrical engineering; you'd make a great customer service representative!

You may also find companies and push your resume through to them either on a mass job-search site or their own company website. Your resume will go in, and you soon find, be sucked into what I have affectionately dubbed "The Human Resources black hole." You will observe this phenomenon in action when you NEVER hear back about any of the jobs you apply for.

If you are lucky, you will hear from a company that you actually WANT to work for. Of course, keep in mind that 300 other people are also applying for the same job. The company wants to get the most qualified person for the cheapest amount of money. You, on the other hand, are totally OVER qualified, and therefore want an obscene amount of money.

When you go in for the interview, you'll want to make sure you dress appropriately. I trust that you will know not to wear a suit for an interview at Starbucks, nor do you want to wear jeans to interview for your first job out of law school. And, for crying out loud, wear something that covers your 5 tattoos! Let the boss see those AFTER he's already hired you.

More to come soon....

Independently wealthy

I often dream of what life would be like if I were independently wealthy. Currently, I work more than 40 hours a week and take 6 credits of class (which is considered half-time). I do this in an effort to make more money. Seriously. AS I stated before, I am an accountant with a degree in psychology. I make a good amount, but if I can sit for the CPA exam, I can increase my earning potential. However, if I was independently wealthy (a la Paris Hilton or the royal family), oh, the places I would go (shout out to my man Dr. Seuss)! Here are a few of the things I would do with my non-existent millions:

1. Travel. I want to see it ALL - I want to see the coriolis effect on the other side of the equator, I want to stay at the most expensive hotel I can find in Dubai. Deadly species...Australia here I come! 90-day cruise that costs 6 figures? Chump change!

2. Quit my job. Oh, don't give me that look - you know you would too. Long hours at the office working for THE MAN? OVER IT!

3. Take college courses FOR FUN! I want to learn so many languages it is ridiculous. I am currently fluent in English (of course) and Spanish, and can get by using ASL. I want to learn Italian so I can talk to Sara; German so I can talk to Lisa and Lyndy; Mandarin just because I think it would be awesome; and any other language I could squeeze in my brain. SO fun! Plus, I would love to enroll in some culinary arts classes, maybe get a second degree in marine biology. With all the time and money I would have on my hands, no one could stop me!

4. Buy a house. Those of you who live in the Bay Area know how little house you get for your money here. I don't even care how big this house is, as long as it's in a nice neighborhood, and is mine. It's a good goal, right? Of course, if I was independently wealthy, perhaps I could buy something obscenely large and throw fantastic parties. Who cares if my mortgage is $30,000 every month, or if there are starving children in Africa who could use my money? Remember, there's always more where that came from!

5. Help my parents retire. Seriously...you've worked for enough years. Sell your house and go RVing for awhile. When you're done, call me, and we'll get you set up in a house somewhere nice (please not Utah) close to your non-existent grandkids.

Oh yes, the myriad of things I could do if I had tons of dough. I am sure you can think of things you'd like to do too. But, wait....let's recall the horrible reverse culture shock I had when I came home after a year and half in Spain. I looked around and thought, "Americans are the most greedy, ungrateful people on this planet." When analyzing what I have through the American lens, it may not seem like much, but if you look at it through a global perspective, I truly am blessed.

I live in a gorgeous condo with two fabulous roommates. My friends (that's you) are the most incredible people, and I hope they will continue to put up with me. I own a car, I HAVE a job (which 12% of Californians cannot claim at the time of this posting), I have health insurance, and most of all I have my faith. So, despite the fact that, for now, I can't do all the selfish things I want to do, I consider myself a lucky, lucky woman. To all of you: count the blessings you have, and focus on the positive. Be happy that you have the things you need, and don't focus on all the things you want that you can't afford. MONEY AND POSSESSIONS WILL NEVER MAKE YOU HAPPY, AND HAVING AN "I'LL BE HAPPY WHEN..." ATTITUDE WILL LEAVE WITH A BUNCH OF EMPTY YESTERDAYS. So, as Bobby McFerrin said, "Don't worry; be happy."

-K

A note to my readers (all 2 of you) :)

Hello friends. As you can probably tell by my first blog post, I have a lot to say. I will try to update my blog as often as possible by sharing with you things I have learned throughout my life, sprinkled with my own special brand of wit and wisdom. I hope that some of you, if you haven't kept up with my that well, will gain more insight into my slightly twisted mind, and even if you have, that you will still find my musings somewhat entertaining if nothing else. Some of my blogs will be about why being a grown up sorta sucks, and others will just be about what's happening in my life. Now, I do not claim to have the most exciting and glamorous life, but it is my life, and as Shaine once told me, "If it's not a good time, it's a good story."

Post College Life

When you are a kid, you don’t work; at least until you’re 15 and your parents tell you that “if you want to see that movie (concert, Disney on Ice, monster truck rally, etc.), you’re going to have to pay for it yourself.” Pay for it myself? HA! That means…..you have to get a job. Usually, when you are a kid (high school age), this job consists of renting videos to jerks who don’t understand that they come out on Tuesdays, or delivering papers to jerks who have their sprinklers set to come on right as you’re walking up to put the paper on their doorstep. But this is all just child’s play when it comes to post graduation (high school or college) work. Oh yes.

Once you have graduated with your 5^th master’s degree in ancient roman philosophy, get ready for 50 years of indentured servitude to THE MAN. Yep, that’s right: THE MAN. You know who THE MAN is: that fat guy in a $3,000 suit smoking a Cuban cigar in his corner office overlooking Central Park. And who are you? You, of course, are the peon. That is pronounced pee on, and I think it’s because that is pretty much what THE MAN does to you…remember it flows downhill. All THE MAN cares about is that you have a degree in something, even if it is ancient roman philosophy.

Let me tell you about my post college experience: I got a BS in Psychology from Brigham Young University. I thought about going into a Master’s program at Cal State Hayward in Child Psychology; I even scored an interview with the department chair. I was rejected for the program, but upon further contemplation I was relieved at this rejection: did I really want to sit and listen to people complain all day, especially kids? I have enough problems of my own: I don’t really want to get paid to listen to other people’s issues.

Step 1 of many people’s post college experience begins with a horrible, horrible thing: moving back in with your parents. Why do we do this? Because, while college has filled our minds with many interesting, albeit useless, facts, no one pays us to go, and so we have no money for rent. Our parents begrudgingly take us back in, and we go just as begrudgingly, because we know, that even if we are 50 years old, we are still our parents’ child, and they are going to treat us as such. After having lived on your own for four years, you do not want your mom telling you that there are starving children in Ethiopia who would gladly eat those brussel sprouts.

Now, once you are all settled down with mommy and daddy again, you decide that you cannot stay there for long, so you need a job. The best part of this is that your parents have decided the same thing, and they will hound you everyday about getting a job. They will say such things as “How is the job hunt going,” or “Did you have any interviews this week?” Then, they will also ask you why you picked such a useless major. “I don’t know why you have a Master’s degree in ancient roman philosophy. You should have majored in civil engineering; I bet ALL the civil engineering majors have found jobs by now,” they will say. But keep at it: if you’re lucky, you will find a job within a couple weeks, but if you are like most people, it will take you several months. Of course, with that Master’s in ancient roman philosophy, you can get a sweet job as an administrative assistant to THE MAN. That is, of course, if you can also speak 5 languages and type 300 words per minute.

Once you have landed your cushy job with THE MAN, you start to think how great it is to be earning a ton of money. I mean, you’re living with the ‘rents and you don’t have to pay them a dime in rent, so you feel like you are the richest buster on the block. Then, you get a reality check: your parents are giving you one month to get the heck out of their house. So, what do you do? You scramble to find some friend who is also just out of college whose parents are kicking them out, and you say, “Dude, we should move in together.” You and your friend go apartment hunting, and that’s when you realize that you aren’t the richest buster on the block, you’re just a buster. So, you finally find some two-bedroom, 1-bathroom rathole on the seedy side of town that you can afford. Shortly thereafter, you and your best friend (who has a doctorate in civil discourse and works as a bank teller) move out. You are totally on your way!

Oh yes, the first year after college can be great fun…so many changes, so many reality checks. This is only part one in my continuing series on life as a grownup. Being a single young adult has its upsides and its downsides, and of course, I am going to share some of mine with you. Perhaps you will be able to relate to some of these experiences, and maybe even learn something. I hope you will continue reading and enjoy, because I am SO qualified for this. Trust me; I’m an accountant with a psychology degree.